Monday, 5 August 2013

Inga - draft 3 (1&2 combined)



An adventure of Winnie-The-Pooh
In which Pooh goes out/for a walk and Piglet after him
It was a sunny morning in the Hundred Acre Woods. (some nature description needed…to bridge). “Just the thing,” thought Winne-the-Pooh.                                                                                                “Yes, perfect for a nice walk”. He set off, first along the meadow and then along the forest path. As he walked along, he hummed a little ditty to himself. It went something like this;         “oh a sunny, sunny morning, with a honey honey jar...”
It wasn’t until a while later when he sang his ditty a second time that he felt for his honey jar and saw that he’d forgotten it.                                                                                                                                  “Oh Bother,” sighed Pooh. ‘Well, I’ll just have to go back for it,’ he decided.
Looking around Pooh wondered where exactly he was. He was gazing at a stand of pines. They looked familiar and he wondered if he had walked past before.                                                              “Yes, it’s a funny thing that, now if I could just remember when or where or even why...” he trailed off.                                                                                                                                                             “Well, anyhow,” Pooh reasoned to himself. “If I simply walk back the way I came…that is, walk backwards, so as not to confuse myself, then I shall walk back home.” And nodding each time he said the word ‘back’ to assure himself that this would work/his logic was sound; Pooh began shuffling back.
He even found a rhythm to his feet, and sang;                                                                                           “oh a sunny sunny morning, with no honey honey jar, it’s a funny funny feeling  with no honey honey jar…” He thought of rhyming in ‘runny’ but then decided against it as it reminded him of how delicious runny honey was.
Sometime later, as Pooh was tiring of his fun he walked into something hard, quite unexpectedly.                                                                                                                                    “Ugh” grunted Pooh, rubbing his back. “Ouch, hmm mm” He continued, staring up at the pine he had stumbled into.
The stand of pines seemed familiar. He decided to sit down for a moment, to catch his breath as it were. As he was sitting he held his back, and then his stomach too; feeling hungry and a little sorry for himself. Pooh scratched his nose, deep in thought. Yes, he did know these pines. The more he thought about it, the more Pooh realised that yes, these Pines were the ones close to Owl’s house.
“Now if Owl has some honey… then I wouldn’t have to walk home again,’ Pooh wondered, “hmm, yes”. With this thought in mind Pooh set off once again. Forwards this time.
When Pooh arrived by the beech tree where Owl lived, no-one answered. Pooh called out, ‘Owl, oh Owl, are you there?’ Then he pulled on the bell pull and he knocked on the knocker. Finally he pushed on the door and finding it open wandered in. Pooh carefully looked if there was any honey in the kitchen, hoping owl wouldn’t mind him peeking. Then, upon finding the cupboards empty, except for some feathers, settled in one of Owl’s fireplace chairs.
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Now as it happens, in another part of the Hundred Acre Woods, Piglet had ventured out to go see Pooh, and finding Pooh out, to see Owl.
Piglet arrived at Owl’s soon after Pooh came to ask Owl for honey. So when Piglet called up from the forest floor, “Owl? Owl? It’s Piglet come to visit” it was Pooh who leaned through the door.
“Oh,” squealed Piglet, “it’s you!”
It seemed to Pooh that Piglet was a long way down.
“Well, I, I suppose I was looking for yer” Piglet continued.
Pooh leaned out a little further – feeling rather queasy now. Piglet’s words became muddled in his head.
“Oh” he said, then again “oh Piglet, I’m not feeling so well”
“Pooh?” Piglet stood on tiptoe and strained his ears.
Pooh did not answer. Instead he collapsed back into his chair.
"Pooh!” Piglet yelled louder.                                                                                                                      “Oh dear" Piglet mumbled, worried. "I'd better go fetch Christopher Robin. He'll know what to do!"
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When Piglet arrived at Christopher Robin's he was panting and he kept muddling his words.
"What's the matter, Piglet" Christopher Robin asked, holding up his hands.
"It's Pooh" Piglet panted, jumping up and down now, and tugging on Christopher Robin’s hand urgently.
"Pooh?"
"Yes, yes, Pooh, I'm tellin' yer, he’s... follow me." Piglet pointed.
They hurried off with Piglet in the lead.

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Meanwhile Pooh dozed in his chair, just as he'd fallen; his arms and legs flung out.
When his snoring startled him awake it seemed to Pooh that Piglet was taking a very long time. It seemed a very long time, indeed.

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"Here" Piglet said. Skidding to a halt in front of Owl’s. They quickly climbed up.
Christopher Robin leaned over Pooh and shaking his shoulder gently asked,
"How are you?"
"Uhh, hmm" Pooh groaned, holding his belly and then his head too.

Christopher Robin fussed over Pooh while Piglet repeated under his breath,                                           “oh dear, poor Pooh!”
In a short while/soon they heard a ‘whooshing’ sound.                                                                     “That'll be Owl coming home," Christopher Robin sighed in relief. And he was right/it was.
"Well, hello Piglet and Christopher Robin and Po-oh," Owl hooted, surprised.
“Hello Owl!” Christopher Robin quickly explained about Pooh.
Owl nodded, then in his usual careful way he thought out loud for a while.
"Well it would appear that Pooh ventured into the forest today. Perhaps he had not intended to visit me, suppose he…yes, quite, if I know Pooh, he desired honey and finding no honey here..." Owl talked on and on.

Christopher Robin, interrupted him to say,
"So Owl, you think, that maybe Pooh is just hungry?"
“Yes - yes quite, that is a feasible possibility."
"Well then, could you very sweetly go and get honey for him? There must be some at his house."
"Why, yes I suppose…" Owl was still explaining the advantage of flying instead of walking when he took off.
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"Here he is", Piglet squealed when Owl came flying back. from his lookout by the door.
Together they carefully gave Pooh his jar of honey and after a few pawfuls Pooh felt much more himself.
He offered honey to all of his friends in turn.
"Thank you. Oh, that is much better.” Pooh sighed gratefully.                                                       “Thank you. What wonderful friends I have!”
Soon after Piglet and Christopher Robin said goodbye to Owl, and took Pooh home. They walked back arm in arm. Pooh realised that it was already afternoon. He started humming, thinking about his adventure. Christopher Robin sighed under his breath,
"Dear, silly old bear".

5 comments:

  1. Great story, i think you've captured the perfect writing style for this particular genre. You show a great amount of both written and spoken text, which keeps things interesting. As i said, the way you have written this is great, there are numerous characters involved and you have described the setting and surroundings very well. Keep it up

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  2. This is so cool Inga! It describes exactly what Pooh was up to in detail all the way to the very end. The characters and actions taking place between the characters all link up and are not cluttered and confused. Made me wonder though, what would have happened if there was no honey at all lol. Great job!

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  3. Wow very nice well polished story. I think you captured the thoughts of winnie the pooh and the rest of them very well.one thing I noticed is when you said "Then he pulled on the bell pull and he knocked on the knocker." do you mean knocked 'with' the knocker? other than that,great work!

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  4. I like how you've differentiated all the characters by the way they speak for example

    Owls hooting, Pooh Bears sighing and Piglet Squeals.

    Perhaps instead of lookout by the door, you could use "perch looking out the window"?

    Nice happy ending too, all problems have been solved with the help of god friends. A great story!

    Well done

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